Tuesday, February 17, 2009

I heart foreigners

So I've been going through all of my pictures from the past few years, and I've found some of my favorite pictures from times when I was abroad. Foreign people make me laugh...

Because in Rome, Italy - Orange Tic Tacs and Jagermeister go hand in hand...

And Italian Chinese people obviously think that Shrimps Cherish Nuts...who knew shrimps even had them?


Personally, if this were the poster teddy for Communism in the States, I would consider conversion.

These were wall drawings in an antique mint outside of Prague. Apparently, Paul Revere and militant chickens are very big in Czech culture.

Fish head + fish food + fish tail = whole fish

ATM in Vienna
Before taking money out... After taking money out...

Hard to see, but the Risotto was free. A Viennese delicacy.

No pigtails unless accompanied by an adult.

Friday, February 6, 2009

Doing What the Cool Kids Are Doing - 25 Random Facts...

Since everyone is doing the whole random 25 facts thing on Facebook, I decided I would just do it here...

These are random and in no numerical order of importance, etc...

1. My favorite book is Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand. I think it is fabulously written and I agree with Mrs. Rand's philosophical argument of objectivism. I wish that I could write in words what this books has done for me, but it would not do Ayn Rand nor the novel justice.

2. My ADD has an uncanny ability of spotting haircuts. I can even tell if someone got a hair cut when they're wearing a hat. I'm pretty sure that President Obama got a haircut a few days ago and showed it off for the first time at the televised acceptance of the nominated Head of Commerce, Judd Gregg. Unfortunately, I do not think I will ever be able to prove my theory, but I'm pretty sure I'm right.

3. I think the Shoal Creek Animal Clinic's logo is dirty. I just drove into Athens and passing by this clinic (next to 5 Star Day on the East Side), and I was reminded how sexual I think it is. To me, it looks like a cat giving it to a dog...

And yes, I did just find a picture of it on the internet to prove my point...

4. I judge you when you use improper grammar.

5. I think small people speaking a different language is funny and cute. Mainly children and not so much dwarfs. And British children count as speaking a different language.

6. I'm a Latin nerd through and through. I love pretty much everything about ancient Roman culture, and, in extension, Italy as a whole. I'm probably the worst person to ever go to a movie whose subject is based on anything ancient; I will point out the inaccuracies and I will drive you crazy. I thought Troy was the worst movie ever, and just the other day I realized that the statue of Marcus Aurelius in the movie Gladiator, is actually a status of Commodus dressed as Hercules. Again, I'm a nerd.

7. I like puns.

8. I think I'm pretty observant, and I like noticing things that I think others haven't noticed.

9. I will live in New York City someday. The cosmos is trying its hardest to make sure this doesn't happen, but it will. I promise.

10. "Seinfeld" is by far my favorite television show ever. In fact, I think Jerry Seinfeld is a God. I often wonder what I would say to him if we ever met. It would have to be something cool and witty. I haven't come up with anything yet, but I will before I move to New York and go to every Mets game hoping to "run" into him.

11. I don't have a favorite movie. Movies are my passion, so it's very hard to pick just one above the rest.

12. I know all the words to "Whoop! (There it is!)" by Tag Team and "Shoop" by Salt 'N Pepa. I think this makes me ghetto. Word to your mother.

13. I love traveling. I would do this for a living if I could. My favorite places that I've ever visited were Rome, Italy and my godparents house in France. It's boss.

14. If I had a super power it would definitely be telekinesis. I'm a lazy SOB.

15. I'm convinced I'm going to marry a British bloke.

16. The last movie I saw was Vals Im Bashir and I thought it was awesome. I highly recommend it.

17. I've added the words "domain" and "post" and "embedded image" to my daily lexicon since I'm a blogger now.

18. Cecelia's cakes in Athens are the best cakes in the world.

19. When I was little, my favorite word was "hanger." I was that cool.

20. I never liked cats until I adopted Kitty (her name is actually Millie, but she doesn't respond to anything really). She's the cutest kitty ever and I love her. My mom hates her. My dad likes her but is allergic. We never argue about her, I promise.
That's when Kitty was a baby kitten. She's bigger now. The vet told me that she was "big boned." Wicked burn for Kitty.

21. My ring tone is "Send Me On My Way" by Rusted Root.

22. I don't think a lot of people know how to use their brains anymore, think for themselves; and I think that's what's wrong with our world today, and the number one reason why we're going to fail as a civilization. Deep thought by Lauren...

23. I never really bought into the whole Astrological crap, but, now, I think I am a quintessential Sagittarius and 2009 will be my year because I was born in the year of the Ox.

24. I constantly think about names for my future children.

25. This is one of my favorite commercials. I think it's adorable...

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Unemployed And Living With My Parents

As you all know, I'm, well, as the title of this post says - unemployed and living with my parents. Well...I was watching "Seinfeld" today and the "Puffy Shirt" episode was on, and Seinfeld's opening bit was about moving home with your parents. I might go so far as to call this kismet (fate, destiny), that is if I hadn't chosen this episode specifically from my DVD collection...

There's no way that moving in with your parents is a sign that your life is right on track. There's no way that you could fake this even: "Yeah, things are great. I met a terrific girl, I got a great job, making a lot of money, and if everything goes according to plan, I'm gonna be moving back in with my parents soon." It's like getting busted on a parole violation and thrown back into the slammer: "In the opinion of the board, you need further rehabilitation, I'm afraid."

Yada yada yada...

Birth Control : A daily pill smaller than a pinpoint or a laborious task comparable to synchronized swimming?

NuvaRing is a once monthly birth control, which employs the insertion of a flexible vaginal ring, unlike the atrocious, oral, once-daily, traditional Pill. This commercial equates the mundane, boring, and apparently exhausting, task of taking the Pill with synchronized swimming and contrastingly comparing NuvaRing with the liberating event of relaxing in a hot tub.

Synchronized swimming? The Pill? Hmm...

Since when did taking a daily birth control pill become a Herculean labor? I would understand if birth control pills were some elephantine, anal-insertion daily medicine, but the damn pill is approximately the size of the period at the end of this sentence.

And let's talk about these swimmers, clad in incredibly sexy swim wear from the 1930s with matching swim caps to boot! Women who wore these bathing suits at the height of its fashion lived in the time of petticoats and hoop skirts and stayed in a small dark closet once a month to avoid a visit from Aunt Flow (and Yellow Fever).

But don't worry - with NuvaRing, no more synchronized swimming with those lame yellow bathing suit girls. You can rip off the midsection of your bathing suit to resemble a 1960s bathing suit, throw off your swim cap, and relax in the hot tub because you've got something jammed up your cooter.

Oy vey. I'll stick with the Pill, thank you very much.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Things To Do Before I Die

Not quite as morbid the aforementioned subject, I've been noticing some interesting things lately that I'd like to do someday. I just wanted to give myself a deadline, hence the title.

#1 - Take a picture standing at the edge of an infinity pool. In a trailer from the Czech movie, Beauty in Trouble, the main girl is seen as walking at the edge of an infinity pool and it looks like she's walking on water. I would try the whole water to wine miracle, but I think I'll have a better chance with the pool thing...

#2 - Drive in the rain in a convertible with the top down. Sounds corny and incredibly wet, but it looked fun on One Tree Hill the other day...

And those are all the goals I have for my life. I consider myself a motivated person.

**these goals are not in numerical order...just in order as I realize them. This will be a continuous post...

Jeffrey Dean Morgan Needs A New Agent

Jeffrey Dean Morgan, known by his friends as Denny Duquette, needs to find an agent who isn't a necrophiliac. I've recently noticed many of Jeff's most notable roles are those of characters who happen upon a series of unfortunate events and die. It's a sad tale because he's actually quite cute ...

Role #1 - Denny Duquette on "Grey's Anatomy." This lovable invalid entered Seattle's Grace Hospital in the middle of Season 2 as a patient in desperate need of a heart transplant. Poor unlucky bastard never gets a heart, dies and breaks the heart of one Isobel Stevens. But for those Denny lovers out there - don't fret - he returned as a ghost in the current season of Grey's. Unfortunately Jeff's curse of choosing characters who will die is more like a plague, since we have just recently found out that Izzie is dying or diseased or insert something tragic. Tear.

Role #2 - Judah Botwin on the Showtime series "Weeds." The unfortunate SOB doesn't even make it to the show - the plot begins at his recent death! This guy doesn't get any breaks. He's only in a few episodes as flashbacks or from video clips, and so far, he's remained in the ground - no phantom appearances.

Role #3 - John Winchester on "Supernatural." Granted, I've never actually watched the show, IMDb promises that Jeff's character on this show is, shockingly, deceased. Well, he's actually in some Limbo, middle-ground (the same place where Tupac is living - he's not dead. Swear) and will probably appear on the show sometime in the future. Looking forward to it!

Role #4 - William on P.S. I love you. Jeff actually doesn't die in this movie, but his best friend did and the plot of the movie surrounds this death, so this example counts.

Four examples. Four deaths. A few revivals. Lots of therapy for the other characters on his shows.

You know you love me. XOXO, Gluten Girl